Head shaking, head butting, pulling off, and eyes rolling back - but why?!

This is part one in our series “Why Does My Baby Do That?!”. This blog post will cover head shaking at the breast, head butting, pulling off and getting back on only to pull off again, and why a baby’s eyes roll back while they’re nursing. 

Let’s start off with the fact that all these things are perfectly normal and your baby is actually quite a genius by doing these things. Also, there’s nothing wrong with you because your baby is doing these things. 

Have you ever seen a kitten or cat knead or paw at their spot before they settle down? Well, humans do it too. We adjust the covers as we get into bed, we reposition our legs when we sit down on the couch for a movie, we move the silverware and plate a little bit at a restaurant before we settle in for a meal. Let’s look at what this means by age.

Newborns: your baby is getting settled and getting the nipple just right in their mouth before they begin nursing. And here’s why. When the nipple and breast tissue are in the “right place” in the mouth, the nipple will be about half way back in their mouth where the soft palate meets the hard palate. The hard palate (the front part of the roof of the mouth) is part of what provides support while the tongue comes up and squeezed the breast tissue and then the milk is squeezed out.

So the nipple needs to be back far enough in the mouth to activate that suckle reflex and help get the most milk for all baby’s effort. If only the tip of the nipple is in baby’s mouth they won’t get very much milk and might start biting. Ouch! Not comfortable, for you or baby! So a baby will shake their head side to side to get the latch just right. Supporting baby’s head without squishing their airway, and holding the breast still can help sometimes, just be sure your fingers aren’t in the way of getting a deep latch. 

Older babies: your baby may latch on easily and efficiently but still shake their head, well, that may be because they are testing out neck muscles, copying an adult or older child, being playful and like how it feels, or have an ear ache that doesn’t feel good. 

Alright, head butting and pulling off and relatching, only to pull off again. Frustrating, right? Well, this is your little one’s way of trying to tell the breast “Hey! Send down more milk!” Sometimes we can be impatient if food takes too long to arrive especially if we’re really hungry, right? Your little one is the same, if they are fussy and past ready to eat, they want the good stuff and they want it now! They may also do this to move the breast away from any sensitive gums when new teeth are coming in. Ouch! 

The way milk flow works is that the baby latches and stimulates the milk ejection reflex or the letdown after a few sucks and then they get bigger mouthfuls as they nurse.

So, if they are really hungry and don’t get those big mouthfuls right away they might try with their hands or head to knead at the breast and stimulate that letdown.

Babies are so smart! We learned this from watching them, not them learning this from us. Babies are born to do this and we just need to read our babies cues and support them to do their thing. 

Now for the eyes, the first time you saw it did it freak you out? Yeah, me too. Remember that milk ejection reflex or letdown that we just talked about, that is the sweet relief your baby has been waiting for and it is oh, so good. Baby’s body relaxes into you and while they gulp away, their eyes might roll upward or back. Kind of like when you take that first sip of coffee, or a bite of your favorite donut, mmmmm, you know what I mean, right?

You’ll also probably notice that baby’s suck goes from short and fast to longer slower wider movements as their mouth fills with milk and they begin gulping. When the letdown slows, the baby will go back to those shorter faster sucks, paw at your breast, and maybe head butt a little to stimulate another letdown. If it doesn’t happen fast enough, baby might pull off and latch back on, pull off and latch back on trying to get more. 

When baby is full, their body will be relaxed, they won’t go back for more even if you try to latch them back on, hands will be wide open and relaxed, and they’ll likely be asleep. Nursing to sleep is biologically normal and ok with baby if it’s ok with you. Check out the Safe Sleep Seven for more info on safe ways to sleep with your baby.  

Now, let’s take a minute to talk about what’s NOT normal and signs you should call the pediatrician or 911. If head shaking starts suddenly after a fall, if baby’s arms and legs are stiff, shaking or jittery, if baby’s eyes are rolling back not while eating, if baby is having trouble breathing or is lethargic (hard to wake up), if shaking is accompanied by a fever. These are all reasons to call the doctor immediately.

If any of these things are out of the ordinary for your baby and are concerning to you, call the doctor to discuss them. There are no stupid questions, and your baby is lucky to have a concerned parent advocating for them.

You are the expert on your baby. The experts are experts in their specialties but every baby is unique and should be treated like an individual. So if these things don’t seem like what’s going on with your little one, ask for assistance figuring it out.

Check out part two in our series, “Why Does My Baby Do That?!” where we’ll discuss hands and what in the world your baby is doing with those adorable little hands.

Baby head butting the breast